May two four?!

Monday May 22nd, 2014

Happy May Two-Four to you all. I am finally better to the point I can state I no longer have persistent symptoms of this winter plague. This recovery is just in time to make use of the May two four long weekend. I often forget that I am retired and everyday is a long weekend. What the hell?

This holiday is named for Queen Victoria, hence Victoria Day. This vacation day is a very confusing one I will try to shed some light and historical or is it hysterical clarity? First of all, Queen Victoria.

Victoria was the name she chose after she ascended to the throne in 1837. Like most royals she carried a shit load of names, hers; Georgiana Charlotte Augusta Alexandrina Victoria. No reference to weekend? Perhaps; Georgiana Charlotte Augusta Alexandrina Victoria Weekend.

Even though most pictures of Queen Weekend show her with a dour nay sour puss expression, she was reputed to enjoy whiskey. She was a fairly large queen but was only about 5 feet tall, so large of girth. She survived at least six attempts on her life. One attempt was by a midget with a gun loaded with tobacco. I like this story as it reminds me of Basil Wright a midget from our family tree/shrub who allegedly jumped up and pushed a hooker to her death down a flight of stairs…

And in 1849, it happened again when William Hamilton, whom history books describe as an ‘angry Irishman’, fired a pistol at her carriage. He pled guilty and was also exiled to a penal colony. I can only assume that the ‘dicks’ guarded him on ‘Pecker’ island.

Queen Weekend (also known as ‘Drina’) died in 1901 after reigning for 63 years plus or minus. Canada at the time, the Province of Canada started Victoria Day to honour the Queen’s birthday. As with most holidays, it would not be celebrated on her actual May two four birthday. We had to make it a long weekend.  So, it is the Monday preceding the 25th of May.

Queen Victoria died in 1901 and since then the holiday has devolved into May Two Four,  a holiday celebrating the most popular beer package. So happy May Two Four to you all.

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