I can’t even put gas in the can…!!

What is going on with 5-gallon gas cans? My hands are becoming arthritic and I have difficulty with some tasks. Specifically, I can’t put gas in our generator or outboard from the five-gallon can I presently have. You have to use both hands, one foot and both eyes to get the can to allow a trickle of fuel. I had two birthdays while putting two gallons in my dinghy tank. For a while, you could put old-school spouts on the tanks and that helped a bit. Then they took away the vents. The vents actually allowed the fuel to come out and be replaced by air. Apparently, five-gallon cans were putting more fumes in the air than flatulent bovines with a case of green grass farts.

Gas can available in Canada at Canadian Tire. Notice the vent and spout…

Canada/Ontario was starting down that path with the trick cans. But, there is hope, the cans for sale now look like the old-style cans. Old-style cans that were designed for common sense, safety-minded and legally speaking reasonable folks. Then, they had to change the design to protect the idiots. Darwin’s theory isn’t enough. They weren’t able to completely go old school, they had to keep the gurgling slow-flowing spout, but there is a vent. Yay Ontario.

I’m here in Florida in the USA. They have gone to extreme measures to keep the fuel in the can. They have four or five choices of 5-gallon cans, each has some contortion and superhuman dexterity requirement. They all have some requirement to push a button, piton or thing prior to being able to push in a second thing to open the valve. Then you have to hold the can for an extended period while fuel trickles out. Jeezuz!!

I’m not whining about my arthritis, I’ll deal with that. But, I’m still able to move and I should be able to deal with a fuel can and fill a friggin lawnmower or outboard tank. You might be surprised, but the can I have chosen to test is the Surecan version. It looks like it is the most likely to explode, the ford pinto of this group. The one in the gallery above is first-generation. I can only assume that the first generation cans have all exploded or are exploding as we read this…

I have found one of the second-generation cans. You can tell them by their yellow small cap on the elephant-like appendage that spews fuel. At least I hope it spews. You can use one hand to hold the can and squeeze the lever. There is a child-proof thing but ML says she will help me with that. You can even aim the elephant-like thing towards the tank of the target thing… Note, an entire side of the can is taken up with instructions… Oh no!

Sure can second generation.

It’s likely that I will join Odin in Valhalla but it will be a fiery transit… more later